I was informed by Golnar that my year end top 10 couldn't include
whimsical Heartattack zine style anecdotes and had to be limited to
music released by punks in 06. Being that as well as having a year end
Top Ten I also have this entire column with which to impart all of my
whimsical Heartattack styled anecdotes I am able to subvert her cruel
limitations. And of course make endless jokes at her expense. But uh
bear in mind that I am writing this from a motel room in Arizona while
my mum watches the Daily Show, which is a little distracting. So my
anecdotes may not be as heart warming or whimsical as they would have
been had I been hitchhiking to a PlanitX fest or moshing at an Avail
show or whatever else the writers of HaC have been up to in 06. Also
bear in mind that most of 06 was spent in my room,alone, Brian Wilson
Style interspersed of course with random Raging Good Times.

First Raging Good Times mention goes to this email, penned by the
mighty Gnar of course in regards to a certain late 80s hardcore
revival. Email of the year! and we didn't go to the Gorilla Biscuits
show in the end. It turned out we were too tired and it was raining
and the show was at a random hesh venue in the middle of nowhere.
After all three of us hustled all of our formerly SXE warrior icon
contacts for guestlist places for weeks. The big plan was to go see
Gorilla Biscuits then go see Team Dresch and write a compare and
contrast report on audience stylings. Didn't happen. Not that sad
because I don't like either band.

"I've been thinking all day (in preparation for the cruciality that
will be the Gorilla Biscuits show) that it's not fair that moronic
edge dudes got control of the phrase "youth crew." You know what I
mean? Basically, I would like to claim the phrase youth crew to mean
radical punx committed to youthful adventure and comradery, not
brotherhood mind you, but more just like kickin' it with your friends
and having fun instead of getting all sweaty in quasi violent, totally
homoerotic monkey dance formations. All I'm saying is that when
separated from Chain of Strength style meanings, the phrase "youth
crew" sounds like it could actually be something really cool. "

So who wants to pass on this new definition to the 50th wave of youth
crew revivalists? They'll have to find another youth movement I guess,
now that their revival of a revival has been declared redundant or
rather reclaimed by thee punx.

Second mention goes to the delightful and elusive Tobia of local
heroes Look Back and Laugh, of course it also relates to Golnar. I
think I missed two Bay Area LBAL shows this year, which was totally
bogus of course and I will make sure that it is something that isn't
repeated in the 07, but at one of these mythical LBAL shows missed by
me, Golnar got crucial. Apparently she 'brough it'. Like kids at
Throwdown shows? Maybe. Who knows, not me that's for sure. I wasn't
there. Anyway I wanted a rematch, and it never happened. Tobia as
front row judge of Golnar's moshtrocities at various LBAL shows, put
it best when she said that Golnar didn;t 'bring it' but simply 'held
it down.' Maybe MRR needs to 'bring it' with a Look Back and laugh
interview this year before they die of old age or perish in a storm or
whatever. LBAL are always in my top ten, they are the best to witness,
total destruction, fear and loathing, bringing true hardcore to the
kids and true believers.

New and exciting experiences award in music goes to a few bands, but
as for touring bands I would have to hand it to Finally Punk and
Kiosk! Seriously. So fucking great!! The show at Mama Buzz was beyond
intensive, the reconstituted oakland city bio diesel bus outside
featuring a live show by Evil Wikked Warrior, noise fiends with an 11
yr old girl singer who has this rad cool kickbacked kim gordon thing
about her, the whole bus shaking with frenzy and delight. Then inside
for Kiosk, Australian fierceness, like lydia lunch sonic youth era
(dude what's with the SY references!!) dark landscapes but punker not
so amphet-reptiled. the singer has this howl that makes you check for
desert landscapes and the tuning of guitar really makes it... The
drums have that disco punk thing but somehow they fuck it up so it
doesnt make you wanna puke. Plus you are on some Manson family summer
camp rather than cocaine white horse doom as those beats usually
infer. anyways... Then when it couldnt get any better Finally Punk
came on, the first true post Mika Miko band? An all girl teenage(?)
sensation that will make you wish you hadn't wasted your precious ear
time on endless boring teen dude Circle Jerk rehashes. Tobi wrote
about how they were the kind of band BK wanted to inspire, and yet I
think it's rad that it took Mika Miko to make girls realise their
potential power and sound...Finally Punk are really fuckin great, like
watching fireworks, instruments switch round, spells and incantations,
riduclous references, uh, just rad. Like meltdown/scissor girls but
not with the dark forrestry more like a run thru the beach at night
pissin on hippies sunrise is now.... uh!! Yeah, Kleenex too, but
really: all girls must form bands!!! Then the house show: final Club
Short eviction party, let's wipe out the community and install the
requisite yuppies scenario and all I have to say is kids not condos!!
The show was total radness, kids climbin thru the windows, dancing,
sweating, exploding, the George Chen free box, total anihilation is
now... Of course you must send off for CDRs and 7"s of these bands,
Kill Rock Stars carries it all I am pretty sure.

Bummer of the year goes to the All Growed Up business card punk record

What is it with lame hardcore boys with straight man 'proper' jobs,
like punk is their 'spare time' 'weekend' activity when they aren't
closing deals and making sure the Singapore account is ok with the
final draft. It's like a box you check on an internet dating site in
the interests section. I mean fuck that! I am not saying you have to
spend your whole life destitute and ground down by your minimum wage
job... but you are the same as the lame shits who puke in alleyways
behind theme bars still in their business suits, closing deals, making
eyes at the chicks in accounts. Except you spend $100 on that 1st
press Poison Idea Pick Your King. Basically you are only distinguished
from yuppie douchebags by WHAT YOU BUY which is not punk. I also hate
people that give up on punk and accept their shitty lot in life, and
go off to die in bars each night after a day at their shitty pick n
pack minimum wage life. It just feels like people give up. Both
lifestyle options mentioned are a fucking cop out.

Best Birthday Frenzy of the year goes to the Erin Yanke beach fest 06.
I taught some Frat girls the art of making fire, always a good thing
to know especially should you find yourself going back in time to the
time of the Neanderthal, unable to make fire you are sure to freeze to
death. Luckily should those chicks find themselves in such a situation
they will be able to figure it out for themselves. There was a Germs
burn in the sky around the moon, only one person puked in the sand,
and there weren't too many harsh Fallopian Jungle Nam style

Best new local band-obviously Peligro Social. HR from Bad Brains mixed
with RIP style Spanish punk is clearly the way forward for Street
Punk. The girl in the white jump suit with painted blood all over it
that looked like she had stepped out of a 79 Screamers audience doing
the worm clearly also set the pace for all future mosh pit actions.
This band is best experienced live, even when they are too wasted to
play they have the magical ability to blow minds.

Anyway, all my HaC style anecdotal-ness has been drained from me by a
5 hour drive through the desert, but don;t worry my friends, I will be
back next month with further dispatches from my learnings on life. No
top ten this month because I have mostly been rocking out to the
sounds of my family talking to me. And my mum singing along with Route
66 oldies radio. And telling a sordid Velvet Underground anecdote to
me mates.